


Masters of Sex

by Thesseli



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Masters of Sex
Genre: Earth-Warders, M/M, Post-Episode: s01e06 The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-22 15:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22151743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thesseli/pseuds/Thesseli
Summary: Crowley tries to get up to speed with his angel, but finds something unexpected along the way.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	Masters of Sex

After the Armageddon That Wasn’t, Aziraphale and Crowley – no longer under the influence of either Heaven or Hell – were finally free to explore their relationship. 

Both of them wanted more, much more than they’d allowed themselves in the past. And without the constant fear of Aziraphale falling or Crowley being struck down by the forces of Hell, their explorations had progressed rapidly from gentle touches to whispered affections to kissing…and beyond. Far, far beyond. Which presented an unforeseen problem, at least in Crowley’s mind. 

Crowley was surprised – shocked, to be honest – to find that his partner was considerably more experienced than he was. (Well, not just considerably, he’d admitted to himself. More like significantly. *Extensively*.) He’d known Aziraphale’s indulgence in earthly pleasures had extended to food, drink, dancing, and more creature comforts than he could name…but to carnal desires as well?

Oh, he knew Aziraphale would never tease him for it, or even mind it at all, but really? An angel who knew more about sex than a demon? Crowley found the mere idea insulting, given that demons were known for temptation and lust and lots of other juicy things that made life on Earth just a little spicier. Both of them had been on Earth for the same amount of time, but it was the angel – the Guardian of the Eastern Gate, the Principality Aziraphale – who’d dallied with enough humans to make the Serpent of Eden blush. If the other demons (or, Someone forbid, any of the angels) ever found out, Crowley would never live it down. He’d learned a lot since the Ark, about why Noah had needed two of every animal and why there were no unicorns anymore, but he realized now he was still woefully behind Aziraphale. And that just couldn’t stand.

So Crowley decided to take a page from Aziraphale’s book, and do a bit of reading. 

The demon had gone to a bookstore – a regular one, one those big chain bookstores with a little café that sold overpriced coffee inside – to see what they might have to offer in the way of books on sex. He wasn’t disappointed. But while he was perusing the rather large section on sex and relationships, he found something that made him stop dead in his tracks.

Later that afternoon, Crowley burst through the door of Aziraphale’s shop, panting and waving something in the air.

“You know you don’t need to breathe, don’t you dear?” the angel asked surreptitiously, not glancing up from the books he was inspecting. Adam had put things back to almost exactly the way they’d been before, but Aziraphale was still finding surprising new additions to the shelves. 

When he got no response, he turned to the demon. Crowley was still too out of breath to speak, but the principality was more concerned over what he was waving around – that was certainly no way to treat a book!

“Angel,” he gasped, when he could finally speak again. “Angel, you have to see this.”

Aziraphale came over and took the book from him, peering at it curiously. “A book about sex?” he asked.

Crowley rolled his eyes. “Look at the back cover, angel. At the picture of the authors.”

He did as his partner had asked. Still not understanding, he blinked in confusion. “I’m afraid I don’t understand why you’re—“

Crowley groaned in exasperation. “Can you really not see it?” He tapped pointedly at the photo. “This guy. Dr. William Masters. From Masters and Johnson? He looks just like you.”

Aziraphale continued to stare until it finally hit him. “Oh. Oh my.” He cleared his throat in the way he did when he was embarrassed or flustered. “Where did you find this?”

“In a *bookstore* angel. One that actually, you know, sells books.”

“Oh?” he replied, still gazing at the picture. Now that he could see it, the likeness truly was astounding. “And just what were you doing looking at books on sex, then, in someone else’s bookshop might I add?”

“I wanted to…I don’t know, catch up to you? Become more knowledgeable about the subject, so I won’t feel like a total amateur when we’re in bed together?” He had the good grace to look embarrassed too. “It’s just not *right* that an angel would know more about sex than a demon. Hell, it’s humiliating!”

Now Aziraphale smiled at him. “You could have just stayed here, you know. My shop has quite a few books on the topic, including a first edition of the Kama Sutra.”

“The Kama Sutra?” Crowley repeated in disbelief.

“The *illustrated* Kama Sutra.” For an angel, Aziraphale sounded just a bit prideful, and more than a little amused. “Thank you for reminding me of it. I’m about due for a re-read, I believe.”

“You’ve…you’ve actually read it?” Crowley asked weakly.

Now his angel was practically grinning in delight. “Yes,” he replied. “But I think reading it this time will be even better than all the times before.”

Crowley still looked like he’d been hit by a truck. “Why is that?”

Aziraphale took his hand, and when he spoke again, his voice was warm. “Because, my dear friend, this time I’ll be reading it with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Aziraphale is basically Hedonismbot with a halo; of *course* he's going to have more experience than Crowley!


End file.
